Social Media

Let’s be honest, we are all aware that social media has a big impact on our every day life. It inspires us to travel, provides us with fashion advice, helps us to stay connected with long distant friends and family, and can even connect us with new friends from all over the globe. However, there’s also a dark cloud of self-doubt, jealousy and addiction lurking in the background, sometimes without us even realizing.

It had been on my mind for a while to take some time away from social media. I’d had enough of scrolling aimlessly, subconsciously taking in all of this information about people who I hadn’t even met in my life. It soon becomes a viscous cycle of wanting to use the app out of pure habit (or potentially addiction) and suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the amount of lives I’m not living, places I’m not going, clothes I’m not wearing or friendships I don’t have. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing it, but for me the self-sabotaging had to stop. I wanted to take a step back and look at my own life, the places that I am going, the amazing friends that I have, the career path that I’m aiming for. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my life is far from perfect, but I actually don’t want it to be. It’s a wonderful thing to feel emotion, but I refuse to allow a stranger on the Internet make me feel inadequate – even if that’s not their aim.

Another reason for ‘unplugging’ was the amount of time I was wasting. My life is ridiculously busy sometimes and I often feel like I don’t have time to simply sit and breathe. I decided that whenever I found myself to actually have some time to do nothing, instead of reaching for the smartphone and exposing myself to toxic negativity, I would be mindful of my surroundings and appreciate everything that I have. It only took a few days for my mind to feel so much healthier, and I noticed a massive improvement in accepting myself for who I am.

Social media addiction is a real issue in today’s society, an issue that psychiatrists are addressing with young people in particularly. There are articles that compare social media addiction to gambling addiction; the focus is on what we get out of it and most of the time we are left disappointed. It’s unreal how many times people have almost walked in to me because they are looking down at their phone, or I will be in a restaurant and people aren’t even communicating with each other because they’re more interested in what’s on their screens or they are Instagramming their food. I’m guilty of doing these things myself, a habit that I’m trying to stop. I’ve found that once you get your phone out, you’re entering a two-dimensional space through the use of your smartphone that breaks the authenticity of what you are actually doing. Wouldn’t it be a lot more wholesome to just show the picture in person to who-ever you want to share it with? When it comes to this sort of thing, sometimes you have to take a step back, figure out your bad habits, learn how to overcome them and channel your energy into something more worthwhile.

Photo Credit: Emily Coxhead, creator of The Happy Newspaper. Instagram: Emily Coxhead.

When focusing on our self-concept, it’s also important to observe who you are following or who you are friends with online. Do you find yourself looking at the same person over and over again wondering why you don’t have a life like theirs, how they got so lucky or why they have so much more than you even though you’re the same age? We all have our own path in life and we are all capable of reaching our goals if we put our mind to it. Don’t let yourself get distracted by comparing yourself to others, focus on the achievements that you have made and what makes you as a person unique. You are worth more than the likes that you receive and the amount of followers that you have. They are just numbers on a screen, they don’t mean anything.

“Social media accounts can quickly become funhouse mirrors, not just reflecting your mental health back to you, but amplifying and distorting it.” – Wired

There is also one common theme that appears to be present particularly on Instagram and Facebook: the ego. There is a lot of focus on the self when it comes to social media; I mean come on, it’s where the ‘selfie’ was created. I too am guilty of posting a picture of myself that took me about 30 attempts to get the right angle and lighting, or trying to look as candid as possible on my holiday pictures. I’m a firm believer of “if you’ve got it, flaunt it”. It’s an amazing feeling to be confident. But we have to consider the fact that these are only our best selves, we don’t post pictures of us when we are ill or going through a tough time. We don’t share the debt that we are in from all the clothes we have bought trying to please others, or the times when we are feeling alone because everyone else is out partying with their friends. We only share about 2% of our real life, if that, and that 2% is our very best selves. There is no problem with doing so, it’s a gift to be able to share our good experiences, but when you are looking at someone else’s experiences, please do not compare them to your own. Also, lets not forget about the amount of Photoshop apps available. I have absolutely terrible skin some times, which the camera doesn’t always pick up on thankfully, but when I see a picture of a girl up close with ‘perfect’ skin the immediate thought that pops into my head is that I wish mine was that flawless. However, I have learned to challenge my thinking when these thoughts occur, and I will remind myself that these photos are most likely edited, with a flattering filter on that probably makes them appear even more glowy and tanned, and actually, my spots do not define who I am. There is more to us than just our appearance, which is something I will discuss at a later date, but it’s so important to remember that appearances are just that, appearances.

Look away from the screen, take a moment to appreciate the person you are and the amazing things that you are surrounded by. You only have one life; so don’t spend it comparing yourself to others. Download an app that tracks your social media usage, delete the apps that aren’t making you happy, unfollow the people who aren’t genuinely inspiring or make you want to be somebody else, figure out what is inspiring to you and take a minute to realize if it is genuinely something that will make you happy or something that will simply fulfill an empty need. Don’t forget that social media is another way for advertisers to tell you what you are missing out on, the next beauty product you need or the newest piece of technology that you simply can’t miss out on. It is a trap, somewhere that leads you to negative thinking and wanting more. But it doesn’t have to be. Take control, focus on yourself, appreciate what you have and most importantly, look up.

Thanks for reading, A x